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By Jack Godbey

Columnist

 

One of the most useful things that I’ve learned is the ability to just let things go without, you know, choking the living daylights out of someone. For example, I was at work the other day and as usual, I spent the day looking forward to lunchtime. The clock seemed to tic slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter. Finally, the time came, and I ran towards the break room. I had my bologna sandwich and a bag of pork rinds, and all was right with the world. That is until two co-workers began discussing politics.  I wanted no part of it. I wanted to punch them in the mouth but instead, I let it go and left to find a more peaceful place to eat.  So, here I sit in the janitor’s closet eating my sandwich and I’m glad that I let it go. They say most politicians are full of bologna. Now, after I ate my sandwich, I am too. 

After I returned to my desk, I was talking to a co-worker on the phone. I meant to say, “Hold on for a second and give me a minute”. However, what came out was, “Hold me for a second”. Boy, am I glad they decided to let that go. It’s hard to look a man in the eyes after asking him to hold you. 

I have to work hard to let things go or else I would end up being the subject of an episode of “60 Minutes.” I have to let things go when people say stupid things at work such as, “I’m giving 110%”. Really? Have you ever taken a math class in your life? Still, I let it go. The people that say things like, “Go big or go home” seriously underestimate my willingness to go home. Like, it’s literally my number one goal.

Someone told me the other day that I needed to “Hit the ground running”. They clearly don’t know me very well, I’m so lazy, if I were in the Olympics I’d come in fourth place just so I wouldn’t have to walk to the podium. So, I just let it go. He can hit the ground running if he wants. Unless I’m being chased by Bigfoot, I don’t see any running in my future.

I’m a bit of an introvert and like to sit quietly. However, it never fails that the loudmouth in the room will always ask me, “Why are you so quiet”? I feel like saying, “I don’t know, why don’t you ever shut up” but instead, I just let it go. 

I remember a story from my childhood where letting it go took on an entirely different meaning. When I was five years old, I had a medical issue that required getting enemas and colonoscopies monthly. I’m not talking about the cushy colonoscopies of today where they put you under and you wake up feeling like Snoop Dogg and Willie Nelson had a party. No, this consisted of pumping my entire colon with so much fluid that I felt like a water balloon when someone forgot to turn off the faucet. The medical staff told me to hold the liquid in while they took some X-rays. That’s a lot to ask of a five-year-old.  I did my best to do as I was told and hold it in. However, enough was enough. When the X-ray tech said he had to leave for a second, I knew I could handle no more. I looked over at my mother who was standing in the corner of the room, and I told her of my intense pain, and I couldn’t hold it any longer. My mother looked at me and said those words I wanted to hear. She said, “Son, just let it go”. Let’s just say when the X-ray tech came back in the room, they got more than they bargained for. That’s a whole other meaning of letting it go.